edit

For today, I did a double icon; Lust, from teh anime FullMetal Alchemist.

xrepresentation: everyone lusts for something in life, and in the end, it's the painful wanting-disease that hurts us all.

nobody.is.immune.

<--------------------------------->

where is the icon for pms? =[

<--------------------------------->

hall-o-ween had bad vibes this year. 

i...

+ got bad readings on my tarot cards
+ lost my favorite necklace (more on this later, uber creepy story)
+ had a voodoo spell go wrong...majorly wrong
+ got mad for no reason; am now pissed at myself
+ died

actually, all that happened except for the last one. but i wish that one happened. then i could hide from all these mistakes i keep making and stop watching them pile up like yesterday's garbage.

pms makes my world negative, like seeing a black and white picture that's developed wrong. ;__;

first off------------------------------------------>

I got bad readings off my tarot, but didn't pay much attention to them. It didn't register much before, but I got signs of 'envy' and 'indecision' and 'new occurances'.

xlesson: New occurances don't always mean good occurances, xXx

secondly------------------------------------------>

I lost my favorite necklace (three guesses which one that is) and was in a really bad mood. This was on October 30th. I couldn't find it the next day either, and was really pissed off, because I didn't want to have to explain to John why I lost it...it's trivial matters like this that get blown out of poportion with pms, but somehow in my head I got the idea that something big was ruined...--"

So, I went trick-or-treating with my bestest friend, Vikki (more on that later).

CREEPY STORY OF THE ENTRY

after we finished candy-lifting, we went back to Vikki's house, where I returned the pillowcase I had borrowed to hold the candy and stuffed the candy in this bag I had brought. What's creepy about it though, was that when I poured the candy out of the pillowcase (which was NOT MINE and had NEVER BEEN USED by me before)...

the necklace fell out.

thirdly------------------------------------------>

The voodoo spell that went out of control.

A long time ago, one of my friends and I were really mad at someone, with reasons I now see as immature and unfounded. We had the crazy idea to make a soap doll of that person, and let's just leave it at that. A few days ago, I threw the doll away, due to the fact that I saw it as past bygones and it was time to move on.

That person got hurt. Badly.

Even though I know it could've been a complete coicedence, I still feel extremely guilty for how bad everything turned out. Everytime I see [the person], I feel like I've misjudged them before, and I'm really. really. really. sorry.

fourth-ly------------------------------------------>

I can't explain this. Somehow, it's my fault. That's it. I'm sorry.

I guess....well, all the words I want to say are in this song, and they're organized better than I could ever dream, so here it is.

Sensitive Subject Matter
Bonnie McKee

I told I would be there for you
A promise I intend to keep
But the subject matter here is a little too close to home
And now I can't take back what I gave

All the times we've seen
All the states we've been in
You always saved me from my troubled self it seemed
But now Im hearing all these words you say
And Im not sure if I can stay
And listen to you melting all my dreams

Baby its you that kept my feet on the ground
Thought that I could choose if I always wanted you around
Darling I do
Think we need time apart
I still need time to mend my broken seams

I told you I would listen to you
So Im all ears
But dont ask me respond
Your pleas for my advice
Cause now im too burdened to speak

Baby its you that kept my feet on the ground
Thought that I could choose if I always wanted you around
Darling i do
Think we need time apart
I think the time has come for me to go

Oh, I cant be by myself
But there is no one else
And well it hurts to know someone else tastes your lips
But I can not forget how hard I cried
When I discovered you had lied
When you said I could never hurt like this

Baby its you that kept my feet on the ground
Thought that I could choose if I always wanted you around
Darling its hard to think that we need time apart
And I think the time has come for me to go

Cause Im weary
Im so weary
I told you
I'd be there
I'm broken
I'm so broken
But im here
It's painful
It's so painful
I'd told you
I'd believe
But these are secrets I can not afford to hear
These are secrets I can not afford to hear

I'm sorry.

never say 'it doesn't matter';
when it's about you, it always does.

*inspired by an extended metaphor of-a-story-Vikki-told-me

<--------------------------------->

BTW:

I love you.

<--------------------------------->

CopyDong: all i need is ur heart
miz wantoness: :O
miz wantoness: it's in pieces
CopyDong: and ur eyes focused on me
miz wantoness: you'll have to practice your sewing
miz wantoness:  now you're making me flushed
miz wantoness: go awwwaaayy

Photobucket died on me.

Will write more later.

Homecoming was...? =]

---------------------------->

Homecoming game was cool, watched Angela/Emily/Gia hyper themselves up silly. Saw John after like, half a month, but didn't get to talk to him, how sad. =[

Spent yesterday at the Y with John, Vikki + Chan. I don't think I could've had more fun if I had gone to homecoming. Learned how to play pool from John and Vikki, they're velly good teachers. =]

Watched MTV on a broken TV, until between the condom commericals and the 'True Life: I'm on a Diet!' shows, it got annoying.

EP has no courtesy for Chan's girlfriend. =[ Tsktsk.

---------------------------->

Desert Concert coming up!

Yes, those icons are great. very plain, but they get the point across, neh? Thanks for the idea, weirdly~

Haven't been leaving comments lately, sorry. I just need to talk to something, I guess, even if the conversation is one-sided and slightly inane/insane on my part. Reduced to talking to my own browser. How sad.

Today was Superhero Day, as part of some crazy scheme cooked up by the Homecoming committee, to try and get us to show our mad love for AHS x3. Walked into a human whoopee cushion, a stripper-slash-batgirl combo, two girls who looked like Hulk on steroids, two super-sexy-man(s), and 2456820347624867 supermans.

Oh, and I saw a guy dressed as chi from chobits. If that doesn't scream I-love-maii-school a little too much, what does?

this is chi --->

ps. he needed to shave.

-------------------------------------------->

Watched a little bit of Advent Children again. Another sad point: I've had AC for about two weeks now, and haven't even watched more than 5 minutes. I feel some FF7:AC fan frothing, so I'll just blame VobSub for hating me.

Ah well. Pretty Seph-lookalikes. Always cheer me up.

promise me john that even if i go insane, or laugh when im trying not to cry, or smile and say its ok when its really not, or don't call you and pretend to ignore you *i'm not really being insensitive* or make that term 'girls are confusing' seem so true it makes your world spin that you'll still be there, even though it hurts so much i think i know how fish feel when they're beached even though the term is usually 'beached whale' and i just like fish more than whales even though most fish don't have a memory span past 3 seconds like my goldfish which are always happy to see me because even with their A.D.D. they know that i represent food and food means love and that's all there is to this world:

love

I'm really tired lately. I feel like cat, lethargic and unmotivated, except by the odd platter of food or bag of chips. At this rate, not even my metabolism's going to be able to keep up.

I am tired of
...school
...grades
...homework
...studying
...people
...fanfiction.net
...art
...drawing
...TV
...movies
...life

I feel like a slug. Eaaayuch.

Just writing because I need to remind myself of the differences between me and a rock. It's hard, sometimes. To tell. And all.

edit--->

Kamatari is a seck c game.